There is always something to laugh about

Hot Air
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A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced the altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted. "Excuse me... can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman replied, "You are in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees North latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be a Scientist," said the balloonist.

"I am," said the woman.

"How did you know?"

"Well", answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The woman below responded. "You must be a politician."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep,and you expect me to solve your problem."

She continued after a moment of silence: "The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
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Labor of Love
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My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ... couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

SO I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM A PERFECT FIT FOR THE JOB!